I dreamt I was helping a white man, who was in his 50s, and we were involved in some kind of secret operation that involved freeing political prisoners. I remember hearing some kind of an announcement that they were going to free all the dogs. I watched as a pit bull type dog dragged a smaller dog down into the water to eat it. The small dog managed to get away though, and swim to freedom. Then there were many dogs all over the streets many of which were vicious. We were in an Asian country, possibly Vietnam. The man was apparently some kind of a spy, and the police were looking for him. I was hiding him because I knew they would not just arrest him. They would kill him if they found him. During our attempts to stay away from the police he became very sick and could barely walk, so I let him lean on me as I helped him into an entranceway of a building, while the police were questioning people on the street. I tried to hide him behind a curtain, but he was so sick, weak, and much bigger than me so he fell to the ground. I was still trying to hide him when an Asian woman saw his hand fall from beneath the curtain and she found us. I started telling her the whole story about the man being sick and how the police would kill him. I asked her to help us and she called for a doctor. The doctor was a Russian woman and she started to check the man out. I woke up right after.
January 17, 2006 (She who Dreams)
Tom/Malhai had a session today and I asked him if he would have Elias confirm some of my recent impressions about a Native American focus I share with several forum members. Elias confirmed all of the following... I was connecting to a native American focus of mine and she gave me her name in an English translation of the meaning instead of in her language and the name she gave for herself was "She who dreams". Born in 1848, she is a member of the Sioux-Lakota tribe living near the Black Hills of South Dakota. She also gave me the names for others in her tribe in English too and the translations are...
"Rides the Wind" for Malhai. He is a warrior and my husband. They have a daughter, a focus of Opan whose name is "little dove". They are both Vold aligned. Opan's focus is Milumet aligned. Rides the Wind/Malhai, born in 1842, dies at Little Bighorn in 1876 fighting against Custer. He was 34 at the time and my focus was 28 when he died. Their daughter Little Dove/Opan, born in 1864, was 12 when her father died. My focus was pregnant with a son when "Rides the Wind" died. The child is a focus of Nanaiis. "She who Dreams" named him Chaska which means "first son". Rides the Wind had a younger brother called "Rolling Thunder" who is a warrior focus of Elan. Rolling Thunder/Elan marries She who Dreams/Iona after his brother dies, and he raises his brothers children with her. From what I understand this may have been a common thing to do in their culture. They also have a son of their own who is a focus of Tarmak who they call "Long Bow". Rides the Wind/Malhai and Rolling Thunder/Elan have a sister who is a focus of Awan called "Running Deer", and she is married to a focus of Arkandin. Arkandin's focus also fought alongside the brothers at Little Bighorn. He returned to his wife after the battle. I have two sisters in that focus. One is Walks on Clouds/Myranda and the other sister is a focus of Madison. I had an impression on Madison's focus name but I totally ended up discounting it and did not have it confirmed.
Dale/Jene has a focus in the tribe as a medicine man called "Speaks with Spirit".
7:24 pmJanuary 16, 2006 (My Heart Still Beats)
This is a poem written by my youngest son for his "muse", Chelsea. My Heart Still Beats By Rein Aeria Inside I feel helpless With soul torn and heart in pieces I do not know yet what to do But I feel great passion when I think of you
In my life there are bright stars in my sky But the brightest of all has won over my soul It is easy to picture in the mind's eye The love that melds you and I
When I have a bad moment I think of you for courage Though I'm happy that you love me too I cry in fear of losing you
For myself, there is no salvation But for you I wish everything I feel so selfless in a way I still don't think about myself all day
Every breath I take My heart burns with desire For you are the only soul Who can make mine feel whole
The kindness you showed to me Made me feel special So I wish you think that as well Because you rescued me from hell
What I would sacrifice for you Is beyond words I can write For the one thing I want today Is to have you take my breath away
There are boundaries I cannot cross Even though I wish there weren't I always will love you And I promise to always stay true
There are some things I cannot change But that is how things must be In my life I still hope That one day I will learn to cope
This is my heart now If it were on a piece of paper Throughout the sorrow I have grieved But please know that my heart still beats
12:15 amIn my life there are bright stars in my sky But the brightest of all has won over my soul It is easy to picture in the mind's eye The love that melds you and I
When I have a bad moment I think of you for courage Though I'm happy that you love me too I cry in fear of losing you
For myself, there is no salvation But for you I wish everything I feel so selfless in a way I still don't think about myself all day
Every breath I take My heart burns with desire For you are the only soul Who can make mine feel whole
The kindness you showed to me Made me feel special So I wish you think that as well Because you rescued me from hell
What I would sacrifice for you Is beyond words I can write For the one thing I want today Is to have you take my breath away
There are boundaries I cannot cross Even though I wish there weren't I always will love you And I promise to always stay true
There are some things I cannot change But that is how things must be In my life I still hope That one day I will learn to cope
This is my heart now If it were on a piece of paper Throughout the sorrow I have grieved But please know that my heart still beats
January 10, 2006 (Long way down)
You're not supposed to be that way
Did they push you out? Did they throw you away?
Touch me now and I don't care
When you take me I'm not there
Almost human, but I'll never be the same
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
I never put you down, I never pushed you away
You're not supposed to be that way
And anything you want, there's nothing I could say
Is there anything to feel?
Is it pain that makes you real?
Cut me off before it kills me
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
Long way down, I don't want to live in here alone
Long way down, I don't think I'll make it on my own
I never put you down, I never pushed you away
Take another piece of me
Give my mind a new disease
And the black and white world never fades to gray
--Goo Goo Dolls 4:09 pm
January 7, 2006 (Days go by)
It is strange how my days all seem to be merging lately. I had so much to post about, but now I am not quite sure of the sequence of events and what was real and what was a dream. I did have a very "real" dream to post about a man named "John". I am now kinda foggy on the details but right after I had it I felt such a strong connection to John and felt he had to be me. Oh well...
Anyway, I had a lot of fun yesterday. Dropped my mom off at church, got the hotel room in TS and then met a friend for lunch, went back to the hotel where I got to see all the Greek dancers in their traditional costumes. Then left again later to go to dinner and a movie, which was great! I loved the Chronicles of Narnia! Now only a week until "Tristan and Isolde" comes out, and I cannot wait to see it.
My mom wanted to visit with friends she has known since she lived in Greece but who now live on the east coast of Florida. They decided to drive in to Tarpon Springs for the Greek Epiphany Festival so my mom and I got a room at the Hampton Inn, which is where all the Greek dancers were staying as well as many others that had come in for the event.
So I got to meet my mom's friends again. Some of which I had not seen since I was in my early teens. It is strange how much a person can change. My mom has one friend that I was in love with when I was 13. I was so in love with him I swore I would marry him. I got to see him again now after all these years and I can't help but laugh at how silly I was all those years ago. I remember not wanting to wash a glass that he drank from back then and even taking it to my room to admire it. hahahhaha Well things have certainly changed now since he was the one doing the admiring. :) He is now in his 60s, and still handsome, but very different than he was 26 years ago. It is like he has a whole different face, not just because of age. It is just completely different to me. He is also a doctor now, and married to a woman who is not much older than me. Maybe 4 or 5 years, and they have very young children. He got married for the first time 10 years ago.
I just find the whole thing fascinating. I barely recognized the man, and my mom barely did too, and she has known him most of her life. They grew up together. How can some people change so much and then others keep the same basic look their whole lives... I look at my mom and my uncle and even though they are older it is still "them". People who knew them long ago still recognize their faces even after not seeing them for many years. I am sort of the same. I have seen people I knew when I was younger and even though I knew them well then I could pass them on the street now and never know who they are, yet they know it is me. I am not even sure where I am going with all this but today it is fascinating me. Her friends kept telling me I look the same as I always have, and I suppose they all continue to create me looking the same even though I create something different. My mom's best friend did tactfully tell me I had gained a lot of weight but she added, "and you look great". hahahhaha Glad she thinks so but now I am thinking of dieting again. :) I ran home to weigh myself after that comment. I am 96 pounds... I must have only been 91 lbs last she saw me. She says my face looks better now though, and I look healthier. Weird thing this perception.
7:02 pmJanuary 4, 2006 (My session)
I got my session from Ron yesterday and I just wanted to post some highlights and let everyone know I have posted Mark's session from 11/11/05 to my Elias audio page. I will also be posting mine in in the next couple of days. Elias faded out several times during my session and I had to wait for the MP3 file to hear what he said. He said that was due partially to my excitement and partially as a message to self to listen. Oh and during my session I had the hardest time saying the word "equilibrium". I totally kept mispronouncing it. Guess mine was off. :p For some reason it bothers me that I could not say it though. hahah
1:53 am- The first 12 minutes or so are about disengaging and what some people experience prior to engaging transition
- Elias confirmed KC, Mahai, and Myranda as my soul mates
- I share 28 focuses with Dale
- I share 32 focuses with KC
- I share 123 focuses with Malhai and 37 common focuses with Opan and Malhai
- I share 180 focuses with Myranda
- I have six essences OE-ing me now but previously there were 7. Awan and Opan are two of them.
- Patel is "playing" with me in my kitchen.
- I have a focus as Giulietta Guicciardi, Beethoven's student, and love. He dedicated "Moonlight Sonata" to her.
- I have a focus as Roxana, wife of Alexander the Great/Malhai, for most of her life. She fragments at the time of his death and then she is a focus of another essence.
- I have a focus as the mistress of Vlad the Impaler.
- Opan is the musketeer, Charles de Batz-Castelmore D'Artagnan, and Reese is a musketeer named Jean-Pierre. I share a focus with them named Annabella.
- Opan is a lifetime OE of Prosper Mérimée the author of the novella "Carmen"
- In the novella "Carmen", the character Don Jose is based on a focus of Elias, Carmen is based on a focus of mine and the picador, Lucas is based on a focus of Elan. I have not identified the directing essence of Prosper, yet.
- Dale is OE of Josephine Bonaparte (I believe lifetime)
- Malhai is lifetime OE of the Duke of Wellington, Arthur Wellesley
- In the "Dune" dimension the characters Chani and Alia are translations of focuses of mine. The character Ghanima (Chani's daughter) is a translation of a focus of Awan, and the character Duncan is a focus of Opan
- Many more focus impressions...
- The program I created for my web site, "Ask E" is accurate for me, and E explains why
- Elias told me that the dreams I have had about him where I was agitated upon waking are due to my frustration. He said it had something to do with me not acknowledging the connection I do create with him because I focused on what I am not creating. There was more to that too.
