October 27, 2005 (Until further notice)
October 27, 2005 (Going under)
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented...Daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again...
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
So go on and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under
October 27, 2005 (Word association)
| I have issues with... |
| society discipline walls family domination |
| Negative | Neutral | Positive |
| work |
society discipline walls family domination travel mother honesty health fame submission excess children age religion women men father |
nature love patience sex intelligence innocence |
| Word | Response Time (secs) |
| society discipline walls family domination travel nature work love mother honesty health fame submission excess children age religion patience intelligence sex women innocence men father |
6.95 3.75 3.50 2.72 2.30 2.05 2.03 2.02 1.92 1.89 1.83 1.75 1.72 1.67 1.53 1.50 1.47 1.42 1.42 1.25 1.25 1.14 1.09 1.08 0.83 |
October 26, 2005 (Haunted)
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow
inside.
Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you
Loathing you
I won't let you pull me down
Hunting you I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head
Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me
Raping me
Watching me
Watching me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you
loving you
October 22, 2005 (For whom the bell tolls)
I had just got back from the tanning salon today when J asked me to take a look at something outside. I walked to the door and there in front of me was a mouse floating in a bucket that we use to water the plants. I think it probably fell from the shelf into the bucket and could not get out last night. I can't believe how much it affected me. I was actually crying. Ok, I admit I have a special connection to mice. I use them to connect to a Shawnee medicine woman focus of mine, and I immediately felt it was a communication from her, but of what I am not sure. Could be she has disengaged in her time frame and has let me know. I have been communicating with her for about 20 years now. I have added this to my list of questions for my upcoming session.
October 19, 2005 (I did it)
October 17, 2005 (Love Cats)
Like cagey tigers
We couldn't get closer than this
The way we talk
The way we walk
The way we stalk
The way we kiss
We slip through the streets
While everyone sleeps
Getting bigger and brighter
Wider and lighter
Bigger and brighter
Wider and lighter
Into the sea
You and me
All these years and no one heard
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing
We missed you hissed the lovecats
We missed you hissed the lovecats
We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully
Wonderfully pretty
Oh you know that I'd do anything for you
We should have each other to tea huh?
We should have each other with cream
Then curl up by the fire
And sleep for awhile
It's the grooviest thing
It's the perfect dream
-- Tricky
October 11, 2005 (Dream)
Creativity. Nurturing. Productivity. Intimacy. Sheltering.
October 8, 2005 (Dream)
October 5, 2005 (It's ok, love)
"Ant brings us patience. Those with Ant medicine have the knowledge that all of their desires will be filled in time. Ant medicine provides us with the that the Universe will provide all of our needs."
"The ant teaches you how to become the architect of your life. The greatest success comes with persistence.
The ant shows you how to work with others.
Ask yourself if you are making things harder than they need to be. Are you being patient with your own and others' efforts? Using discipline, you can lay a foundation for success.
The ant is the promise of success through effort."
October 2, 2005 (Dream)
I dreamt I was wandering around a large mall/convention center. I was going through different stores trying to find something, but I do not remember what exactly I was looking for. I went into an office where I saw the same man with dark curly hair and glasses, from my last posted dream, sitting at a desk. This time he did not ignore me though, and asked if he could help me. I told him I was there to look at evening gowns. He stood up and took me through a door into a room with really beautiful gowns. They all were form fitting and had either a slit up the side or the back. I started trying them on for him, and he would tell me which ones he liked best. I ended up choosing a red one, but I did not take it with me. Then I was wandering around the mall again looking for something, and it was like the dream was repeating itself. At another point in the dream I was in an intimate situation with someone I had met at the convention center hotel area.

