Whoa what a freaky dream! It is so full of symbolism, a lot of which I interpreted right away, but since it took so long to write. I am not going to add my interpretation here. Besides if anyone can get through reading it all they will get their own meaning from it. :p
The dream is a bit graphic, but I spared you and me the goriest details, but just thought I would add a disclaimer that some may find it disturbing. :)
I was with my "husband" and two "children", (In waking life I have no clue who my dream family was) traveling across country when we decided to stop somewhere for the night. We pulled into a small town in the middle of nowhere, but there were no hotels around. We stopped at a house to get some information, and the couple invited us to spend the night there.
At first everything was fine, but then things started to get uncomfortable when the man insisted that my husband go with him and they sent my children off with their children. Then the wife asked me if I would tour the house with her. It was old and creepy with many doors in it. At some point I was feeling uncomfortable, and I wanted to find my family and get out of there, but was afraid to let her know. I told her I wanted to get my children ready for bed and that I was going to go outside and look for them. She didn't seem to want to let me go, and said that the children were fine, but I insisted. She watched me as I left the house and walked toward a barn. That is where I found my youngest child (about 4 years old) and asked her where her sister was. She looked like she was in shock and pointed to the barn. I walked slowly into it afraid of what I may see. That is when I saw my other "daughter" (about 16 years old) hanging upside down by her feet completely bound, gagged, and blindfolded.
I started to freak out telling my youngest to come to me as I untied the rope that was suspending my other child in mid air. I got her down, and asked her what happened. That is when that woman came back, and started to apologize in an insincere voice. The woman said that my daughter should not have gone outside at night alone because there were two area boys with severe mental problems that liked to play with strangers, but they did not mean to harm her. I told her to get my husband, and that we were leaving now. She said that was not possible, and that we needed to come back in the house. I was struggling with what to do because I wanted my husband, but I was afraid for my children, and myself. I told her we were leaving and to tell my husband.
I started off running away from her property as she called behind me that no one in that town was going to help me. I was no longer with the children, and I ran from house to house, but most were dark. I finally went to a house that had a light on and the front door was open so I could see through the screen a young man with curly dark hair, wearing glasses, sitting in a chair alone. I opened the door without knocking and told him something awful was going on and I needed his help. He continued to watch TV, and did not say a word to me, but he had two large German Sheppards, and they started to growl at me. They backed me into the door, and I was getting scared. He looked up long enough to say, "they won't bite, open the door." I did and the dogs both went outside. I tried to tell him what was happening but he was not interested at all. His girlfriend then walked into the room, and they both started talking to each other like I was not there. I let the dogs back in and left the house.
I could hear laughter behind some bushes and my heart was pounding. I started to run, but two boys (looked like they were straight out of the movie "Deliverance") caught me and they were pushing me back and forth between them as they laughed. One of them picked me up and carried me back to the woman's house. She was there waiting for me. She smiled and told me I was being a very bad girl, and "bad girls get punished". My adrenaline was rushing through me, and I was trying to think quickly of what to do. The woman told me to come with her and she started to show me different rooms with people that were being tortured in horrific ways. She took me to my "husband" and oldest "daughter", and I almost lost it. My husband had been blinded and my daughter's mouth had been sewn shut. Then she took me to other rooms and each one was worse than the one before. Somehow I managed to get away, and the house had turned into an old hospital type place. I was running from door to door trying to find a way out. I went in and out of elevators, and sometimes as the door would open she would be standing there laughing at me. I would shut it quickly and try another door or another floor. This went on for quite awhile.
I finally stopped trying to get away, and decided that I would have to align myself with her for now in order to escape later. The rest of the dream I followed her around like a zombie as she showed me one grotesque scene after another. I found my youngest child, and for some reason the woman did not harm her. She was playing with the woman's little boy who appeared to be around the same age. The little boy had demanded his mother leave her alone so he would have someone in the midst of all that madness to play with. Finally I was allowed the freedom to move around the place alone. It was like a fortress so she was not concerned about me getting out. I learned that they had a staff of doctors performing these experiments on people, and that other people from across the world came there and paid her a lot of money to tour the torture.
I devised a plan to get out by getting some clothes and blending in with a group of people that were being given a tour of the place by 3 men in white lab coats. Right before showing the group the door out they told them that anyone who worked there would never be allowed to leave because being there for any long length of time did things to your mind and you could not go back into society after that.
Then I saw the doors open and I saw the sunlight. There before me was my freedom. I pushed the people in front of me through the door, and finally made my way out. I was back to a normal city street. No more "monsters" waiting for me on the other side. I sighed in relief then walked away from that place not even looking back.
September 28, 2005 (Possessed)
I am possessed
my will no longer my own
I surrender...
to the waves of passion
in so deep...
I can hardly breath
I am possessed
September 28, 2005 (Dream)
I dreamt that my sister came to my house and gave me a pair of fur gloves. She was really excited about them, and my friend asked if she could get her a pair too. There was a knock at the door and it was a detective who was there to question me and another girl about a native American man that was hurt pretty bad in a storm. We answered his questions and then he asked us to go to the hospital with him. When we got there I stopped outside of the room, but the detective asked us to follow him into the room. My sister walked up to the man and hugged him tightly. They seemed to know each other well. He told her he was sorry to hear that her husband died, and that Gene was a good man. That is when my sister moved her head and I caught his eye for the first time. I was awed by him, and his rugged beauty, so I quickly averted my eyes. I felt an instant attraction, but did not want him to know.
I sat in a chair at the foot of the bed while my sister continued to talk to him. His eyes watched me with a a deep penetrating gaze, and I wondered if he was reading my mind. There was another woman there next to me, and somehow she and I started to drink some apple schnapps. The Native American man stood up, and went into the bathroom, and the detective said he was going to leave. My sister left with him. When they were gone it was just the girl and me left. I stood up, intending to leave too, when I realized that I was not wearing anything under my dress. I looked down to see two pair of underwear in the chair I had been sitting in, one was green and the other pink. I thought I would put the pink pair on before the man got out of the bathroom. Just as I put one leg through he walked out, and caught me. I tilted my head a little, looked up at him, and said, "somehow I have forgotten to wear anything under my dress today." I was blushing with embarrassment, but he just flashed me a big smile, and asked if he could have a shot of "apple" too. The other girl started to pour drinks, and I finished putting on my underwear. That is when I woke up.
"Eyes, blindfold
You never said I'm growing old
I'm so glad to have you
And it's getting worse
I'm so mad to love you
And your evil curse"
-- Morcheeba
September 28, 2005 (Take my breath away)
I just forgot how...to breath
September 27, 2005 (In ancient times)
More focus impressions:
I feel my focus was named Ambrosia; born about 750 bc. She lived in Athens, Greece with her two lovers, Kyros/Opan and Drakon/Malhai. She was educated on the Isle of Lesbos in an all girls school. Her father was Athanasios/Elias and her sister was Zenobia/Ashan. Ambrosia, Drakon and Kyros were all poets/writers, and were also closely connected to the theatre.
Connecting to this focus was like watching a movie.
Ambrosia was a well-traveled, well-educated, young woman, approximately 25 years old, when she met Drakon and Kyros in the theatre that they were both connected to. Drakon was a widower in his early 30s who had lost his wife to an unknown illness. He was independently wealthy by inheritance which afforded him lots of time, and money to do the things he wanted to do in life. He wrote poetry, and plays, just as Kyros did. Kyros was between 18-20 when they met. He was a bit wild and emotionally immature, but he loved Ambrosia very much. He had great affection for Drakon too, and looked to him for guidance. When she met Drakon she developed feelings for him, which gave her a reason to settle down when he asked her to stay and live with him. That is when she moved in with Drakon and Kyros, and the three of them quickly evolved into lovers. Both men considered her their muse, and the three of them spent hours telling each other stories, then Drakon would watch Ambrosia and Kyros act out scenes in the garden for him, and often would participate himself.
September 25, 2005 (Arcane voices)
Wow, I feel like I didn't sleep at all last night, yet I slept for about 5 hours, which really is nothing for someone like me who can sleep nine or more hours at a time. :p
I feel like I spent the whole night in an intense conversation with someone, but I do not recall much of the imagery other than at the end of my dream I was waiting on a railroad platform for a train to arrive, but I was on the wrong side of the tracks. I remember thinking that whenever the tracks would clear I could cross over, but the thought of touching that "deadly" "third rail" made me apprehensive. There was also something significant about a $20 bill that I can't remember now.
I feel a bit exhausted, but also like there is a lot of adrenaline rushing through me. It is almost uncomfortable, but I am going to do some breathing to calm down. All in all it was a very intense night.
~~~
"hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you
and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light
it ends here tonight
i'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light
it ends here tonight
closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there
say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me
closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there
say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me
as you fade to black "
September 24, 2005 (Dream)
I was sitting at a table in an ethnic restaurant with "M" when I started to stand up, that is when the waiter came over with two very tall crystal glasses of coffee colored liquid. I asked what it was and he indicated it was a "special" drink. I took a sip of it; it was warm and sweet with a slight hint of rum, like a "Jamaican coffee". "M" called it something else though that started with a "c". He motioned for me to sit back down, so I did. The table was small and when I rested my arms on it one of them crossed over his arm, and my leg touched his. I looked at him a little embarrassed then pulled my arm, and leg away. He smiled at me as if he knew why I had pulled away, and said that I did not have to pull away. Then he started to talk about writing together. I told him that I did not think I could do that because the only person I wrote poetry with was "O". I also told him that I did not know him, or anything about him. He smiled again, placed his hand across my forearm and said something like, "just because we are meeting now for the first time it does not mean we do not know each other. He then said it was ok to write "poetry" with other people if I really wanted to. That is when something woke me up, so I decided to add my dream to my dream diary, and post it to my online diary too. I am actually typing this through half closed eyes. :p
I had a lot more dreams throughout the night, but that was the last one and the only one I remember at the moment.
September 23, 2005 (Siente mi amor)
I have been connecting more to a shared Spanish gypsy focus that I have with Elias and Elan lately. I have so many impressions concerning this one which have been haunting me for close to two years, so I am just going to break down and ask Elias about it in my next session which will be very soon. :)
~~~
I also connected to a shared focus with Malhai where he is a dark-haired Druid priest named Malachi, and my focus is a red-headed druid priestess named Erynn, around 1300 bce. This was a very intense focus where they are very advanced in their "magical" abilties, and are able to manifest some pretty amazing things from the energy they perceive coming from many other "levels".
~~~
I have an update for the Native American focus that I wrote about on 9/19/05 (a couple of posts down). In that focus, my focus Tala's lover Kyah/Opan is killed and aftwards I feel that Tala/Iona became the wife of Antonzia/Malhai, and had his children even though she was a lesbian. Although being gay was acceptable to their tribe they did not flaunt it, but Antonzia did know how much they loved each other, and he loved them both as well. Tala found solace in him.
~~~
"Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on."
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on."
September 23, 2005 (Gone away)
Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal it's so unfair
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you've gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and hail Mary's
Can't bring back what's taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you've gone away
-- Offspring
September 22, 2005 (Softly powerful)
A friend posted the following quote on soft expressions of power on the the Elias group today, and being soft myself I thought I would post it here too.
~~~
J: Okay, I think I'll ask one question about the soft group. We have been sharing a lot and have been trying to clarify our soft expressions, and I remember that one time Anjuli reported that you said that "the soft expression of power is in energy". Is that in noticing energy, or, what did you mean by that? Am I translating this correctly?
E: Yes. You are. Some expressions of power may be demonstrated in action or in manifestation. The expression of power in association with the soft orientation is expressed in energy. The recognition of it, the expression of it, the projection of it, the manipulation of it. Not necessarily in generating an actual manifestation, although that may occur also, but the point of the power is in the expression of the energy.
September 20, 2005 (Legend)
Legend
There have been many fantasy movies that take you into the divided world of love and hate, light and dark, but none come close to the exceptional beauty of Ridley Scott's masterpiece "Legend".
"Legend" is about the purest form of life that roamed the world of light and good, in order to protect it from ever being totally consumed by the forces of evil.
In this enchanting and magical world where fairies, elves, and humans exist in harmony, there also festers a dark and dangerous world. Here goblins walk among the good helping their dark master in his sinister plan to rid the world of all that is pure.
Instead, it will be crippled with coldness and constant evil.
Jack (Tom Cruise) is the woodland imp who is in-love with Lilly (Mia Sara). She is a free spirited princess who sings like a goddess, lives in a world of wealth, truly appreciates the gifts that nature has to offer, and, most of all, the love of Jack.
One afternoon Jack decides to show Lilly the true light of the forest and brings her to see the Unicorns. The world will always be protected from evil taking over completely, as long as these blessed creatures roam the world. But Jack and Lilly weren't aware of the goblins following them and of the goblin's plan to kill the Unicorns.
Lilly thought that if she could only get close to the unicorns she could show them her innocence and the love she has in her heart. Jack begs Lilly not to go after them since they are sacred and no mortal should cross the line.
Lilly makes a costly mistake: causing one unicorn to lose its life and thereby drastically changing the cycle of the season from warm to frigidly cold and icy.
Now the world has been transformed into a frozen hell of darkness and fear. The Lord of Darkness has captured Lilly and the remaining unicorn. He plans to make Lilly his bride and kill the last unicorn in order complete his final stage of taking over the world.
Has Jack lost Lilly forever to the evil that cursed her soul with darkness? Will he have the faith in Lilly's love to help set them free and bring peace and light back into the forest?
Tom Cruise has always been a favorite actor of mine, and not just because of the way he looks (and he does look good!) but because he is an outstanding actor who continues to refine his craft. I remember hearing that this role was one to forget, but I enjoyed it, and think he did just fine.
Mia Sara could not have been sweeter, more innocent, or lovelier than she was in her role as the unmistakably sorrowful beauty whose heart, filled with innocence, was overcome by curiosity and poor judgment.
Tim Curry will live on in his character. His portrayal of the Lord of Darkness is consuming, masterful, and the best performance in the film. It was astonishing and powerful!
The DVD comes complete with Ridley Scott's Director's cut, the original theatrical version and a number of extras. This is a must for your DVD collection.
Bryan Ferry's "Is Your Love Strong Enough" to me, is one of the best songs to be heard in a movie's soundtrack. I love hearing this song and would have worn it out when cassettes were popular. Also included are the music video and the stunning soundtrack performed by Tangerine Dream.
Gorgeous cinematography, exceptionally spellbinding colors and special effects created one of the most elaborate and visual displays of movie making art ever!
Succumb to the fantasy and romantic fairy-tale adventure of "Legend".
Written by: Lynda Dale MacLean
September 19, 2005 (Focused impressions)
I often spontaneously get a lot of focus impressions, and then I start offering myself validations in really interesting ways, but I don't always write them down, or put them all in one place (I know, I can be so scattered.) so I am probably going to start posting them to my diary as a record of sorts. I will start with my most recent impressions and visions.
I got a vision of one of my focuses as a Native American girl (around 19 years old) with long black, braided waist length hair, and big dark eyes. She was petite, around 5'3. She was staining her lips with some kind of berry to accentuate them. She was with another Native American girl named Kyah (a focus of Opan's). Kyah called her, her "little one" (they did not speak English but that was my translation of what I heard) and I felt that was an affectionate term. I also saw them bathing each other in a secluded lake. They were very intimate and gentle with each other. Later when they were back in their village I saw a tall, dark, handsome tribe member watching my focus with an intense stare, and I think at some point I got a little confused as to whether the energy I was feeling was from that focus, or if I was picking up on something else.
I also got the impressions that my focus was half Choctaw (mother) and half Cherokee (father), and they lived in the area west of the Mississippi maybe in the late 1600s or early 1700s. I want to say her mother was kind of traded to the tribe, but she loved my focus' father, and it was an agreement to live with his tribe, so maybe trade is not the right term. As I felt into it I also got that my focus was named "Tala". When I looked up the name meaning and saw that it means "wolf" I took that as a validation of my impressions since Elias said the animal my essence can be likened to is the wolf.
I feel I have 23 Native American focuses throughout different timeframes.
[I originally got the number 23 for for Native American focus but after I posted I got a twinge that that was not right, and that the number is actually 123, and the twinge has stopped. :) I have added it to my list of session questions]
September 17, 2005 (This is how a heart breaks)
Standing in the kitchen tonight I heard a familiar voice in my head saying, "you always hurt people." which took me by complete suprise. It was the voice of ***, but he and I haven't talked in a long time, so why do I hear him? I think to myself, that is something he would say to me... something he has said to me. Maybe not in those exact words, but close enough. I feel a sick panicked feeling spread over me as I grab onto the counter for support. Do I always hurt people? No no no! Why do I hurt people? What follows is an inner dialogue between myself, and Elias?.... um, yeah, it is time for another session. hahahah
It takes me a minute or two to realize the voice is not ***'s, but my own disguised in his tone. He was the one who could reflect my own fears and judgments on myself more efficiently than anyone else I have ever known, and I appreciated that about him, so it makes sense that I would hear him now.
I know this issue came up tonight because I am truly happy, happier than I have been in what seems like forever, but at the same time I fear that. I have been known to sabotage my own happiness when I feel it is more than I deserve, and sometimes this feels like more than I deserve. Life is really going well for me now. I went through a rough period over the past 3 years losing 3 family members, going through a lot of other self inflicted heartache related to my "truths", losing some friendships and creating others. It has been a rollercoaster of emotion to say the least, but now I feel balanced. I have friends, and family who love me dearly as I love them. I have also realized some of my own personal goals, and I am more healthy, relaxed, and accepting of myself. I have mended my previously strained relationship with "B" too. Not so suprisingly he no longer blames me for ruining his life. I consider him a friend again. According to Kris I have "matured" which is why I am able to experience this now, and I agree with his assement. :) I do not want to allow anything to end this happiness that I feel.
Anyway, I have really strong beliefs concerning hurting other people. I just don't want to be perceived as causing anyone pain even if ultimately it is their own perception that hurts them. There are times I actually fear hurting people. For example, I would rather be the one with a broken heart than to ever have someone feel broken-hearted over me, and I know that there are so many judgments in that statement, but I can't pretend the feeling is not there. As much as I say I do not care how others think of me I really just want to be nice and liked. hahah I started to write this post with a purpose in mind, but I have strayed far from my original intent. I think what I am feeling is really something I have to discuss with a specific person right now.
I am steering my own ship, so to speak, and I do not have to keep creating the same experiences based on these baseless fears over and over. I am truly happy. It is all a choice. It is ALL a choice. Time to silence that voice of fear...
"Memories are just where you laid them
Dragging the waters til the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said..."
Dragging the waters til the depths give up their dead
What did you expect to find?
Was it something you left behind?
Don't you remember anything I said when I said..."
September 14, 2005 (Ekstasis)
My "Faerie's Oracle" card for the day:
Ekstasis
Ecstasy. Joy. Rapture. Motivation
Ecstasy is something people seek--it feels better than good; it feels, well... ecstatic. We experience it in tiny bursts and in bigger surges. It enables us to recognize the sacred nature of our own being as an experienced fact, not merely a theory or article of faith. Ecstasy is not something we can make within ourselves, but something that flows through us when we open ourselves to it. It fills us with power and with the motivation to grow, to become what we have the positive potential of being, and to fulfill our purpose in being here and now on this planet. When we are feeling these surges of joy, we are empowered and we know that we are on an appropriate track for us, the track that leads to greater meaning and fulfillment in our lives. This card in a reading says, among other things, go for it! It confirms that we are on course, moving in a good direction, and that we are in harmony with the great Song. It says great joy and great accomplishment are within your reach. Its song also lights up and empowers the cards around it, healing the past, intensifying the moment, enlightening the future.
September 13, 2005 (The angel opens her eyes)
Poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Sonnets from the Portuguese
Sonnet XXII
When our two souls stand up erect and strong,
Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher,
Until the lengthening wings break into fire
At either curved point,—what bitter wrong
Can the earth do to us, that we should not long
Be here contented? Think. In mounting higher,
The angels would press on us and aspire
To drop some golden orb of perfect song
Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay
Rather on earth, Beloved,—where the unfit
Contrarious moods of men recoil away
And isolate pure spirits, and permit
A place to stand and love in for a day,
With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.
September 12, 2005 (Creative urges)
My friend Opan and I have recently started to write together, and I have to say it is going quite well. After years of neglecting my desire to write I have been inspired by him to express myself that way again. I am starting off slow for now though, basically taking what he has written, and adding my own touches to it. You can read "When Came the Storm?" a poem that he and I co-wrote at his site. There is a story behind what prompted me to take his poem, and hack it up the way I did, heheh :p which involves another focus he and I share, but I will talk more about that after my next Elias session For now the poems we write together will be under the name, "IopaN".
September 8, 2005 (Dream)
I dreamt of two "boys" (maybe around 19 years old) both were very beautiful. They looked similar to the vampire boy in my last dream, but one had dark blond hair and the other had light brown hair. I was walking through a school-like place when I passed them in a hall. They both looked at me and smiled really big. I smiled back then looked down a little and kept walking. The boy with the light brown hair then started following behind me and leaned in to press his face against the back of my head to smell my hair. He whispered something to me about flowers, jasmine. It felt like electricity go through me. I turned around and he was looking right at me. He was the most beautiful guy I had ever seen. The other guy with the light blond hair was standing a few feet behind him. They were both angelic looking and there was a swirl of energy moving between the three of us.
I felt light headed, and wanted to go find a place to put water on my face. I found a room with a sink, but when I tried to shut the door a guy with dark hair was standing there and he would not let me. I was pulling on it, but it would not lock and he was still trying to open. I walked out the door and saw an older man (maybe a janitor) I asked him for help and he showed me how to lock the door. I went back in and locked the door behind me. Then I leaned against the door and slid down a little. I was feeling overwhelmed by the energy of the two boys, and was not sure what to do. I had a strong desire to find them again. There was more to my dream, but it was fragmented so I will not post it.
September 5, 2005 (Dream)
I dreamt of lion-like creatures that kept other animals (that looked like wild dogs) in a cage and used them for food. They lived in prides primarily made up of females with one to three males that seemed to be much larger and stronger than the females. The males were there for protection and breeding.
In the pride that I saw a couple of males invaded a "village" of females and chased them away from their caged food. All these creatures ran on all fours like lions, but they also stood upright most of the time. I saw one of them go into the cage where the food was kept, and kill an animal with it's hands. Then I saw them share the raw meat with a female who sat crouched down on the ground with her chest pressed against her knees. She had long dark straight hair that hung down past her shoulders about four inches. She was eating from a bloody bone. There was something beautiful yet disturbing about her and the scene I was watching.
Then I was that female and I found myself walking to what looked almost like a medieval stone castle carved out of a mountainside. There was a balcony type area on the second story of the castle, and on it I saw an old graying lion-like male drinking something from a chalice. He called to me to come to him, so I did. He called me his child and asked me if I had decided to leave the nomadic lion-like pride I was a part of and come home to marry someone (he said a name but I cannot remember now). He pointed to an entranceway to the castle. I looked in the direction he pointed, and there stood a huge creature that I knew to be the creature my father the lion-like king wanted me to marry. I also knew that I wanted to live free and roam the lands freely with the males that had taken me in. Like lions here the males were made to leave the prides when they reached adulthood, and then they traveled together in groups until they could find their own prides. The 3 males I was with were not like the other tribes though. They lived by a different set of standards. I woke up at this point.
September 4, 2005
"Projection makes perception.
The world you see is what you gave it,
nothing more than that.
But though it is no more than that,
it is no less.
Therefore, to you it is important.
It is the witness to your state of mind,
the outside picture of an inward condition.
As a man thinks, so does he perceive."
-- A Course in Miracles
The world you see is what you gave it,
nothing more than that.
But though it is no more than that,
it is no less.
Therefore, to you it is important.
It is the witness to your state of mind,
the outside picture of an inward condition.
As a man thinks, so does he perceive."
-- A Course in Miracles
September 3, 2005 (I carry your heart with me)
I carry your heart with me
(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)
(I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)
-- e.e. cummings
September 3, 2005 (Wonder)
all the wonder that you see in me
let that wonder flow free
across the rippling waters where we
swim in moonlight, heavens and stars
reflecting the wonder of the heavens in thee (you)...
let that wonder flow free
across the rippling waters where we
swim in moonlight, heavens and stars
reflecting the wonder of the heavens in thee (you)...
-- Opan
