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January 27, 2005 (dream)

I dreamt I was on vacation in NYC. I was staying in very nice hotel with some family and also a woman I did not know. At one point I went to the window and opened it. I stepped out on the ledge and was trying to decide whether I would jump or not. I chose not to and climbed back in the window.

Then it was time to leave but when we left our room the hotel turned into a hospital and I was in the waiting room. My mother was there and we were waiting to hear if my dad (He died in 2002)would make it or not. That is all I can remember at the moment.

I am having a hard time remembering my dreams lately. It is probably for the same reason I have trouble remembering anything for the past few months. Hopefully I will resolve the memory issues soon since this is very frustrating at times. I think I need to relax my energy more. :)

4:38 pm

January 25, 2005

Last night I was reading the Kris session about the Tsunami, and he said that many people had dreamt about it in the previous few weeks to several months before it hit, and he also said, "There is not one individual on the face of the planet in one form or another that has not perceived the potential for this event to go from the probable into the real, in your terms."

This reminded me of the two dreams I had on January 26, 2004. The Tsunamis hit on December 26, 2004, 11 months later, to the day. I posted the dreams to the Eliasfamily group right after I had them, so I was able to find them.

In my first dream I was in some kind of US run "prison" camp. It felt like I was in Columbia, and I was being trained to perform missions. There were a lot of military type people there and I was told if I helped them I would be set free. When I first arrived there they took my computer away from me, and told me when I left I would receive $500 but I would need to get another one because they were keeping mine. I remember I was there for one year before they allowed my family to come visit me. This "prison" was in a jungle, so they had to fly our families in to see us. The day they were coming I was given some new clothes, and allowed to fix my hair, and put on makeup. I saw myself in the mirror, and I looked similar to how I look now except my hair was longer and very light blond. My sister came in with my son, who did not look exactly like my son. He looked a few years younger. He was probably around 8, but he did have really white blond hair. Anyway when they came in I walked over to them and my son turned his head away from me, and pressed his face against my sisters side. He appeared to be afraid. In the dream I started crying because I could not get out of that prison and my son did not know me. When I started crying I woke myself up and I actually had tears running down my face. I do not remember waking up crying before so that was interesting. Oh and I am not sure if it was really a prison, or not, but it felt like one and I was unable to leave.

"In the second dream I was on vacation in Jamaica [I never actually knew for sure that I was in Jamaica but because of the woman in my dream who had what I thought was a Jamaican accent I assumed I was there] with my sister. It felt more like a futuristic version of Jamaica. The hotel was very high tech. It stood about 50 stories high. It even had a mall in it. My sister and I were going from shop to shop looking for souvenirs. We went into a small shop that sold animal carvings, things made out of shells, as well as other trinkets. I found a basket that had hair barrettes in it. I saw that two of them had beautiful blue topaz colored crystals. I picked one out that had one row of crystals, but then I saw the other one had two rows of crystals and a more beautiful pattern, so I chose that one instead. I then went to pay for it. There was a tall, attractive, black woman wearing a very colorful sarong tied around her waist. She had on a matching shirt, and scarf tied around her head. I handed her the hair barrette, and she told me that she could not charge me for something so small. She put it in a bag and handed it to me. I thanked her and we started talking. She handed me two beach towels then she walked away. I put them on the counter and called another person over so I could pay for them.

After I bought them my sister, and I decided to go out on one of the decks to watch the ocean. When we stepped outside we saw that groups of people had gathered. I looked out at the ocean, and the sky was a reddish orange color. I could see that a huge tidal wave had formed. Even though it was far away it was coming in fast. I grabbed my sister by the hand, and told her we needed to get to the top floors of the hotel, and away from any windows. We did not want to take the elevators so we started running up these really wide stairways. We kept climbing higher and higher, but at some point I decided that I wanted to get out of the building. I felt if we got out, the other side the building would serve as a shield against the tidal wave.

As we were running through the building I could feel the adrenaline rushing through me. I was getting two perspectives on it. One from inside my body and the other from some detached place outside of myself. It was really quite suspenseful for me to watch it from outside my body, and what happened next I am not clear on, but we did get out. On the other side of the building I saw water raining down on us. The hotel had diffused the impact of the water in that area because it was strong enough to withstand it. After that I remember walking down streets looking at neighborhoods that had been destroyed. I also heard reports that there were disasters happening all over the world. At some point I found myself in a basement with my cousin and she had an adorable puppy. I cannot really remember anything more than playing with the puppy and discussing what to do next. Oh and I remember thinking, in the dream, that the basement would not be a good place to have a pet monkey."

I know there are many layers to each dream, and I always felt there was a very "real" quality to both of these dreams, like the dreams I later have confirmed as focuses. It was also "predicted" by two different people that I would die in natural disasters in this focus. When I was 15 a psychic predicted I would die in an earthquake and then many years later another person said I would die in a tidal wave. I have always attributed their impressions to be connected to my other focuses, and still do, but I find all the connections fascinating. I think I will ask Kris about this next time I talk with him.

6:18 pm

January 22, 2005

Last night I was sitting at my desk, chatting with a friend online, when I got this chill down my spine, then I felt someone stroking my hair. This went on for a few moments, and then I felt someone standing behind me. They put their hands on my shoulders. I felt a lot of tingling on the back of my head for a few more minutes before it stopped. It was a very nice comforting experience. Oh, and there was no one physically there in case anyone is wondering. :)

4:55 am

January 18, 2005 (Dream)

I dreamt I was walking on an Asian beach in a bright orange shirt and jeans shorts. I felt self conscious about the orange shirt, and I was trying to cover it with a gray jacket because I felt I had worn the color orange too much (I rarely wear orange in waking life). I went into a shop to return a pair of silver hoop earrings because the clasp would not stay closed on one of them, and it kept falling off. As I was showing the guy the earring I wanted to return, it became very pliable, and it started to change shape in my hand. The silver was sparkling and very beautiful. I was mesmerized by it. Then I was afraid the man would not exchange it because it had lost its original round shape, but he did.

Next I went into a toy shop full of clocks. They were very loud, and I commented that I would not have one in my home. An attractive blond, guy in his twenties, peeked around a corner and smiled at me when he heard me say that. I felt shy and avoided his eyes. I was thinking he was there with his mother because there was a woman in her late 40s standing next to him, but then it occurred to me that she could have been his girlfriend.

After a few other things happened I was back on the beach and there was some sort of beauty contest, but it was not based just on physical beauty. I did a strange kind of energy exchange involving the girls and the judges in which I was receiving energy from one and then I would blow it into the ear or the mouth of the other. I was moving energy between them all. When I was done the winner was announced. This was the most intense part of the dream and the part I cannot remember very well.

5:30 pm

January 17, 2005 (Dream)

I dreamt of snakes again, but this time a little boy, who looked a lot like my son, was handling them and I was afraid they would bite him but they did not. He kept grabbing them at the back of the head, and then letting them go, then another would come at him. I am not sure how many snakes there were in all, but they were coming in through a small opening in the door, and I could see them all slthering over each other on the floor.

5:19 pm

January 15, 2005 (Dream)

I dreamt it was raining very hard and the whole roof was leaking and ready to cave in. Not only was the roof leaking, all the sinks and bathtubs were overflowing too and there was water coming through the walls and up through the floor. I was stressed out because I was down in a basement garage and it sounded like someone was trying to get in through the already weakened walls. I was trying to reinforce the garage door but I was afraid that it was not going to be strong enough. I thought I would go into the main part of the house and lock the door behind me, and call someone before the person finally broke through. I woke up before the person got through though.

9:10 pm

January 14, 2005 (Dream)

I dreamt of two "blond" colored dogs. They were half bullmastiff (gentle breed) and half pit bull (not always so gentle breed). They were very warm and friendly dogs, but I was a bit wary of them because I knew they had some pit bull in them. I felt a lot of love for these two dogs (I wrote "gods" instead of "dogs" here first).

I was walking around a mall when the dogs asked me to visit a pet store with them. There was a large gold and black tiger in a cage when we walked in the door. Someone let the tiger out of its cage because when it saw me it wanted to go to me. At first I was a little nervous around the uncaged tiger because it was so much bigger than the dogs, but it laid down on the ground and was very calm. I sat down to talk with someone, I think it may have been Dawn, and the tiger turned into a large orange and black tiger striped anaconda. It wrapped itself around me and was being very affectionate. It had the head of a tiger but the body of a snake, and I think it was kissing me on the head.

While this was going on I was talking to Dawn about asking questions for me at the group session since I was not able to book a private session in time. All of a sudden I was sitting in a room with Mary having my own session with Elias. Not sure why but I brought him a large bottle with the words "KY Bourbon" written on it. He and I drank from the bottle together. I took a sip first, then handed it to him. When he handed it back to me half the bottle was gone. We both laughed about this. Then he said to me that he did not "KNOW" much of anything at the moment other than that was a very good bourbon! I agreed that it was sweet and tasted more like wine than whiskey and said that I did not like the taste of whiskey. Then he leaned forward and told me that the big dogs were very effective at getting my attention, but he said I was MUCH more aware of that now, so I could still pay attention to the big dogs but now I could see them as friendly. E went on to confirm a few of my impressions. Then I woke up. As usual much more to it that I could not remember after getting out of bed.

So that was my dream. It was pretty cool and I liked the energy expressed in it. It was very playful. I have dreamt of tigers frequently over the years, and I also have had lots of snake imagery in the past couple of years. Kris interpreted a dream for me a few months ago, in Paul's session, about a tiger and he said that it represented my sexual aspects.

Kris Session excerpt:

Paul: Here's one, my friend Io has dreamt of tigers many times. Some protecting her and some threatening her, and in her most recent dream she saw these unusually colored tigers leap over her. Some were striped, some spotted, some solid. At some point in the dream she was having some sexual contact with a female tiger, while the other tigers walked around them, and she wanted to know if you could offer any insight into the meaning of that dream?

Kris: We believe the imagery is representative of her own sexual powers, viewed from a different perspective. Our perception is that on the one hand she might, at times, feel indeed embracing of her own sexual energy, her own libido. At other times there is a reluctance to embrace it. Perhaps almost a fear of it. This is an issue we believe that she has been dealing with over several focuses. Specifically in her focuses that she's involved in terms of religious dogma concerning erotic sexual self as something anti-spiritual, as if the two are measurably(?)diametrically opposed but in reality they are complementary. Do you understand?

Paul: Yes, I'll tell her that.

Kris: The tigers represent different aspects of her perspectives concerning her own sexual self. The one where she was involved in some kind of an erotic manner with a female tiger might come closest to representing her trying to come to terms with herself in a sexual manner.

Paul: Hmmmm, interesting.

3:17 pm

January 12, 2005

This excerpt has been helpful to me in accepting the illnesses some of my family members are dealing with at this time.

From Session 196: "Change/Healing/Acceptance"
Sunday, July 20, 1997 (Group) :

RETA: I have a question. We were talking about the change and the shift. In talking about the body and healing, I've been trying to study and deal with what possible changes there can be so that people can allow themselves to be well more often and not take on the aspects of disease. But looking at other people and trying to help them with an awareness of even their own physical problems is really difficult unless you can get on some wavelength with them. Can you sort of help me to become aware of some of the expansiveness or some of the awareness that will come about as we go into the shift? Some of the differences?

ELIAS: Allow me to offer to you, Dehl, an experiment that you may engage yourself, which shall offer you the experience to be understanding a little more the action of this shift and its affectingness. You speak of healing and a desire to be helpful. I suggest to you: Temporarily attempt to put aside your desire for helpfulness, and allow yourself to view individuals that you deem needing helpfulness. Instead of directing your attention into being helpful, direct your attention temporarily into connecting empathically with these individuals. In this, allow yourself to experience what the other individual is experiencing physically, emotionally, mentally. As you allow yourself this experience and practice with this experience, you may also offer yourself an understanding of the tremendous workings of inner senses, which shall be offering you information of the action of this shift.

It shall also offer you information in connecting with other individuals and understanding the action of helpfulness, for as you understand through experience another individual's experience, you may also understand how to be helpful more efficiently. Example: If you are encountering an individual that has created a broken arm and you are choosing to be using your empathic sense and connecting with this individual, you shall experience the broken arm. In this experience, you shall also offer yourself information of how to be communicating with the bone which is broken and reestablishing its natural state; for the action of healing occurs by communication to affected areas subjectively, in instructing or reminding these areas to be reestablishing their natural order. Therefore, this exercise shall offer you, if you are allowing yourself to be accomplishing, much information that presently is quite confusing to you.

RETA: Okay. In the one case I did become very empathetic, and I can understand and believe what needs to be done. But like you said with the broken arm, take on the broken arm and try to communicate with myself what it takes to heal that, and then communicate to the other entity the same information? Or is it just knowing how that feels is enough to interpret and communicate that to another person?

ELIAS: The knowing shall produce the understanding within you, and this shall offer you the information of the communication. Therefore you may, without words, communicate energy to be helpful to another individual.

RETA: In just a moment of knowing?

ELIAS: Yes. The experience that you offer yourself shall be quite helpful to you.

RETA: Of course, the question is time period. How long will this last? Am I going to be fearful? No! How long would the knowing or the empathy be lasting within my body?

ELIAS: You need not hold the empathic experience.

RETA: Just know about it.

ELIAS: Correct. You may release the energy immediately. It shall reform, and it shall redirect.

RETA: To the other individual.

ELIAS: Not necessarily. It may redirect in many different areas, but this also may be helpful in offering the element of release within the other individual.

RETA: In the one case, the person is very receptive to mental images but is very, very ill, and I tried to be very empathetic with her, but that's not quite enough to understand the whole of her illness.

ELIAS: You need be understanding the direction and the intent within your empathic experience. An empathic experience is not merely physically experiencing those elements that another individual experiences. You must be
connecting and experiencing the whole of the individual, for they may be choosing not to be healing themselves, and this you must be understanding of; for you may not be affecting if another individual is choosing to continue with their manifestation of malady, and you may hold no healing ability with another individual that they are not within agreement to be accomplishing. Therefore, you may choose to be helpful or wish to be helpful and you may hold a very strong desire to be helpful to another individual and not be affecting, for it is their choice of their creation.

RETA: Certainly. Of course, the next thing would be letting go.

ELIAS: Quite; accepting of another individual's creation of their reality.

RETA: Even though they emphatically state that they don't want it? How can I tell if their inner senses are saying, "Oh, but you do want it."

ELIAS: By engaging your empathic sense.

RETA: Okay. I will try. I will do!

ELIAS: Very good!

4:04 am

January 4, 2005 (Dream)

I dreamt I was swimming with a really large snake. It was maybe 25 feet long and 25 inches around. It had a trainer who wanted to use me in a show with it. She wanted me to float on my back and allow the snake to slither around me in the water. I asked her if the snake would bite, and she said, that it would if I made very fast movements, so I would have to move slowly.

When she said it could bite I decided to get out of the water, but when I did the snake tried striking out at me. I was trying to get far away from the pool before it could bite me, but since it was so big it had a far reach, and the woman had no control over the snake so I had to stand very still until it calmed down.

1:27 am

La Belle Dame with Knight

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