"La Belle Dame Sans Merci"


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Sunday, November 22, 2004

In my dream I was at this man's house. I think he was supposed to be Greek.  He was having a party, and a few of us were doing LSD. I ended up being intimate with this guy, and I felt like our bodies were physically merging into one. Later in the night it was very late, and the party was ending, so he asked me to stay over. I did, but I woke up the next day, and immediately regretted it because it had snowed and everyone else had left the night before, so I had no way of getting home.  I was there alone with him. Although at first I did not realize he was there too because he was buried under some blankets, but I finally felt his body under them.

 
When he woke up he tried to be intimate with me again, but I was not interested because I no longer felt the same attraction to him that I did the night before. I had that sinking feeling that I should have gone home the night before because I realized that I did not have any money, and I was going to be trapped there for a while because of the snowstorm. I was trying to push him away, and he finally went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, so I got dressed and went to sit in the living room.
 

He saw me as I was walking from the bedroom and started running after me, so I screamed (playfully) and ran into the living room and dropped down to the floor between the couch and the coffee table trying to hide myself.. He ran into the living room after me, and sat down in front of me, and he started hugging me. It was a really warm hug and I felt attracted to him again. I decided I wanted to stay with him, but I still did not want to be there without my own money. I was not sure how I would be able to take care of myself or even get back home someday. It looked like the snow was going to be around for a while and I did not want to ask him to support me while I was there. While he was still hugging me the phone rang, and it was two girls that were interested in him. I assumed he liked them as well. They lived nearby and they were going to walk over. I really did not want to be there while they were, but he said something like, "I do not care who knows that we are together now." I woke up soon after.

7:27 am

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Last night I dreamt my sister, my daughter, and I were living with a friend named Al (he died in 1991 I think). We were living in one of my childhood homes. Al was sick and we were taking care of him. In one part of the dream my sister was trying help me to pick out clothes to wear to school. I picked out some pink and purple underwear that had glittery butterflies and flowers on it. I was nervous about fitting in in school. I cannot remember too much about it but it was a very involved dream.
 

Later in the dream everything shifted to another story line, and I was watching (from outside of my body) a man stick long nails into a woman. It was very freaky looking, and the energy of it reminded me of a movie called "Strangland" that I saw a few years ago with Dee Snyder, of Twisted Sister. He played a psychotic killer who called himself Captain Howdy. Anyway I watched the man stick nails into a woman's body. She was about 20 years old with long hair. He had long hair too. When he was done he started taking them out one at a time. It was gruesome so I am not going to give details, but she died during this part. I could see the guy's face very clearly. He was wearing what looked like war paint and I felt like I knew him, but not anyone I know in this life. I felt very stressed in the dream. I wonder if the woman was me. There was more. I can't remember.

7:26 am

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I started forgetting last nights dream as I was waking up, but from what I can remember I was on a plane with Steven Tyler from Aerosmith, and he was smoking. Then I saw other people were smoking too and the flight attendant was annoyed so she opened the door to air out the plane. The plane lost pressure and started to fall. I put my head in Steven's lap and he held me tight. The captain said we were making a crash landing.

Next thing I remember we had landed on a highway, and we all walked away from it, but there was someone there to show us how lucky we were. They showed us all the planes, small and large, that had crashed in that same spot before us, and they were all mangled and burnt. If I remember more I will add later.

7:25 am

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

I dreamt I was in an underground prison with many women of different nationalities. Some of them had babies, but were not allowed to breastfeed them. They were made to feed their children through long tubes. The floors were covered in a black oil, and I did not want to walk on them, even the shower floors had oil on them. I complained to someone about it, and when I was sent back to the main area the floors had been cleaned.

There was a female guard, and I could tell she did not like me because I was always trying to make changes. She told me that she wanted me to do a drawing, and told me I needed to get some crayons. I went to get the crayons, but she said I had to use some other crayons that were kept in another section of the prison. She took me to an area away from the rest of the women, and tried to make me drink a black liquid from a large jar. I told her I was not going to drink it because it was poison. She and I were arguing about it, and I started running from her.

Somehow I managed to get out of the prison, and I was walking the streets of a city, possibly NYC, I was walking past a building when I heard a man and a woman call out to me. The man, who had very long dreadlocks, asked, "where is it you are going to girl?" in a Jamaican accent. I told him I was going to another state, probably California, because I did not want to be sent back to that prison again. He smiled, and wished me a safe journey. The man looked suspiciously like Bob Marley.

7:24 am

Sunday November 7, 2004

I dreamt of Elan last night. I felt a lot of energy and it was nice. We are still connected. Later in the dream I saw a large multicolored snake-lizard creature. At first someone said it was a mouse because it was standing on a mousetrap, but I knew it wasn't. It ran through the house really fast. When I got to the back of the house I could see my dad (he died in 2002) through a window digging a hole in the backyard. The snake-lizard was dead and I think they were going to bury it.

7:23 am

Friday November 5, 2004

I dreamt I killed someone again. This time it was a dark haired princess in a ball gown, and I was part of an assassination plot against her and her family. Her father was supposedly a cruel king I believe, and that is why the people wanted to kill him and his family. They were all giants too, and I was the only normal sized person there.

I remember I was at a party, and when the assassinations started it was my job to follow her while a couple of other people held her body guards back. I actually dreamt this whole dream twice in the same night. The first time everything went according to plan and everyone was killed quickly, but then the second time things did not go so well. It was like alternate endings for the same dream.

So after I killed her the first time I found myself right back at the beginning, and I was doing everything the same, but that time when I went to kill her the object I was trying to put through her throat was too flexible and it just bent back and forth. I finally pushed a pen into her throat and then I tried to push her through a glass door but she only hit her head and she would not die.

I felt kind of bad because she was hurt, but not enough to die so I took a piece of metal and I hit her across the neck with it; she finally fell back shattering the glass and died. My sister and my daughter were in this dream too, but this time they backed me up in killing the woman. Afterwards we were with a group of people that were celebrating outside at a garden party. The people there looked like politicians and royalty too.

I think the woman represents an aspect of me, and it may also be connected to my throat chakra and expressing myself. I also connect the dream to the movie Dune for some reason. It had the same atmosphere. This dream also had a political tone, like Dune.

Later in the same dream I was in a makeshift hospital with injured people and it looked like a postwar area. This part of the dream had a whole different feel to it and was not connected to the giant royalty.

7:22 am

Thursday November 4, 2004

I dreamt I killed some people, and that I was on the run with my mother. We were hiding out in a hotel room together when I got the feeling we needed to leave because someone was on their way to get me. While I was packing our bags and trying to get ready to leave I sent her down to the car before me. When I got to the car there were detectives there, and they started questioning us. They knew I had killed someone because my sister and my daughter were there, and they called the police on me. I was pretending to be mentally ill to get out of trouble.

Then the scene shifted and I was walking down the street. A man kept walking past me singing a "Grateful Dead" song. I would keep walking and he passed me several times always walking toward me singing the same song, but I cannot remember what it was. I also saw children that looked like statues on the sidewalk. I waved my hand in front of their eyes and they did not move.

5:16 pm

La Belle Dame with Knight


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